SP0TLIGHT 0N GH0STING

A phenomenon I've been researching recently is that of ghosting.

It can happen at the hand of a client, but more than likely most people will first experience it via the practice of ending a romantic relationship with a partner, by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all forms of communication.

It is understandable when one partner in a relationship meets someone new, whom they are particularly spellbound by – but then the done thing is to make contact with your previous partner and explain that you are moving on.

For those who lack the maturity to take this step, or are unsure if the current scenario will last – the ghosting may simply be a "pause", in which time with the new partner is enjoyed. When things quieten off, time with the golden oldie will be sought, once again.

I think a big part of a recent panicky episode I experienced, was due to feeling (romantically) alone after an operation, and previously when running a race (where I had requested support). Nine or ten years is a long time to love someone. To long for more consistency and togetherness. And to want to be that person's family.

My three years of varsity psychology tell me that the best any one person, in my position, can do is to:

• set individual goals (work, sport, parenting, travel & cultural);

• take in ALL the work – especially the projects that seem like fun while the money's being earned;

and

• continue to cultivate the friendships that I already know work because they involve MANY years, MUCH mutual venting about life and the universe, and a sense of REST0RING THE SPIRIT when we meet up and spend time together.